The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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