So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
