I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
