Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
