You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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