What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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