There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I enjoy the company of your penis
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
