didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Randomize
