it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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