I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
