i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
