apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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