I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I just cut my nipple shaving
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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