so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
