I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I need moral support for this bender
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I'm sobbing to NWA
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
