windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
