If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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