69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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