her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
