If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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