You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
