He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
