Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
