We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
