at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
