if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
