eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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