He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
