yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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