Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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