I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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