woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Shame - the story of my life.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
