i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
