Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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