I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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