that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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