I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
