girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
