What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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