i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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