and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
