HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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