Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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