what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
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