You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
