I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
