Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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