i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
where does the pee come out of this thing
This house was built for laser tag.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
