I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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