I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
