I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
that is very illegal...i love you.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
