Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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