Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Oh god it's open bar.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
